I had a fantastic idea when walking out of the gym this afternoon. I planned to call myself with is—now that my Google Voice number has snazzily been set up—so I would remember it. The major problem with that plan is that I not only forgot to call myself; I forgot that there was any reason to call myself by the time I got to the car. The fact that there had been an idea for a post didn't even flicker back into my mental space until I was in the shower much later. This, combined with yesterday's frustrating work issues, combined with today's different but equally frustrating work issues, combined with the headache that simply would not go away today, leaves me only one response: the heavy sigh.
I feel quite urgently the need for some rest, some "video game" time tonight. Whether I will actually play a video game or simply read a book after I write this post is still up in the air, but do something relaxing I certainly will. Alas, it is late—but that is one of the prices you pay for community; as tired as I was, Jaimie and I still went to our community group tonight, and it was good that we did so. Unfortunately, I got home and still had an hour of work to do to prepare tomorrow's Pillar article—the cost of writing it quickly and, frankly, rather poorly on Tuesday. It needed the hard edit that PJ gave it, and in fact it needed a bit more in some places, which I gave it. Add in the time to edit a small picture to go with it—we've not had nearly enough pictures/illustrations recently—and the time adds up quickly. So here I am writing at 9:40, tired, but resolved. This project/plan/purportedly purposeful production of ponderings will not fail or falter simply because of tiredness. It is too important to me.
(I remembered the blog post idea. Or at least: I remembered a blog post idea. [time gap while I jot the note down, remember another idea and jot that one down as well—and by jot, here I mean write on a sticky note... write electronically via typing on a virtual stickynote in Dashboard on my Mac]
I have been reading Tim Challies off and on for the last several years. The amount of stamina he has to simply keep blogging day after day after day—he hasn't missed a day in something like five years, maybe more, what with having guest authors post when he's on vacation—boggles my mind. Just doing this day after day can atke a toll at times, particularly when I just want to realx in front of Halo: Reach and not "work" anymore, especially when we've been going nonstop for the last couple weeks. Since the Tuesday before last, we've had one night (this Monday) where we didn't have something going on. Now, I have enjoyed almost every one of those activities, but it certainly makes life busier and more tiring. Nor does the adventure stop. I think—I hope—that we'll have a normal night off on Sunday night. Tomorrow night is date night (which is awesome, but still a "doing" night), and Saturday night we're having a friend over.
Most people don't realize it, but I have fairly strong introverted tendencies. When I was younger, I was painfully shy—refusing to go talk to the neighbor kids until my mom shoved me out the door shy. Even now, sometimes a quiet night away from anyone and anything sounds like the most relaxing thing I can imagine. Gladly, I have gotten past the shyness, at least in general, though I still occasionally lock up a little if I am in a strange group of people where I know no one. I suspect, in our extroversion-idolizing culture, there are probably many more people like me—sociable, outgoing, talkative, and nonetheless introverted—than it might at the surface appear.
Hopefully tomorrow's post will be better. For tonight, I am simply happy to have written at all.